Embracing Change: My Journey from Comfort to Adventure

Kristina Hestdahl on Brooklyn Bridge

I remember it so vividly, the moment I decided that I wanted more from life. I was standing on a beach on a small island in Thailand, water to my knees, breathing in the warm air. Three years before, I had landed what was my dream job at the time, and that’s what I knew I was heading back to just a few days later.

As great as it sounds, an interesting job, a steady income and the safety of my hometown didn’t feel as fulfilling as it once had. Especially because they were the very things that had made me postpone, or even give up on, my longstanding dream of moving to the other side of the world to pursue a degree in journalism.

It all dawned on me as I was standing on this beautiful beach: the world must have more to offer a girl who had only just turned 21 and felt like her life was already over.

One year later, almost to the day, I left everyone and everything I knew and headed to a new life in Australia.

I really don’t know how to describe my leaving in any other way than it being the most characteristic, but also the most uncharacteristic thing I have ever done. As the oldest of four siblings, I have always been fiercely independent, to the point where I struggle to accept help from anyone. Ironically, what I fear most in life is being lonely.

One of my biggest accomplishments in life, and I am not joking, is going to the cinema alone. I did this once, in a city of two million people, and it felt both uncomfortable and empowering.

The point is, I can move 15,000 kilometres away, to a country where I don’t know a single soul, but I could never go to a restaurant and ask for a table for one.

Although adventurous, I have always loved the smaller, more mundane things in life. Like having pizza and watching a TV show on Friday night after a long workweek or savouring a slow morning with coffee and a challenging crossword puzzle.

I crave stability and routine but get restless as soon as life starts feeling too safe and familiar. Unlike my partner in crime, my travel companion, and love of my life, I rarely act upon my restlessness (moving to Australia being the obvious exception). I have held the same job for more than 13 years and lived in my hometown for 28 of my 32-year-long life.

I have thought, for years, about the possibility of uprooting my life once again. Although I’m sure I could have found the strength to do so, I haven’t. That’s the beauty of being a twosome, I guess. What I lack in confidence, he makes up for and vice versa.

I am not going to lie; it does feel different this time. Before we met, we had both travelled on our own, in separate directions. Now we go together. I am no longer in search of a better life, or even of a place to call home. I already have my home, and it’s with him, wherever we might go.

What I’m looking for this time, what we are looking for, is freedom. The power to control our own lives, our future, and to some extent, what we leave for the generations to come.

Alongside leading a life where I call the shots, I want to experience as much of the world as possible in the limited time we have.

I wasn’t scared when I left for Australia. Nervous, sure, but never scared. I’m not this time either. Don’t get me wrong, it’s scary, terrifying even, breaking out of the routine so many of us desperately cling to. We get addicted to it, and I’m sure I will come to learn that I need it in some way or another.

Just imagine going through life on your own terms, though… If that doesn’t sound like a dream, I don’t know what does.

Kristina

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Welcome to Tivoli—Where It All Begins

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ADHD, Impulsive Choices, and Leaving the Past Behind